Today’s post is about a very serious topic and is a PSA of sorts. I saw a pin circulating on Pinterest with a photo depicting a girl (tween to young teen) with a dirty, presumably male hand covering her mouth and the other dirty hand on her shoulder, signaling he has control over her. The post is about rape. Supposedly (I say supposedly only because many times it’s hard to verify sources on write-ups like this, but the information is still worth passing along, in my opinion), it is a composite—based on interviews of actual rapists and attackers—of what these criminals look for in a victim and the tactics they use to perpetrate their crimes.
But, first, a few statistics from the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN).
Who are the victims?
Mostly women. 9 out of 10 rape victims (in 2003) were female. 1 out of 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape.
Children under the age of 12 account for 15% of sexual assault and rape victims.
– 29% are age 12-17; 44% under age 18.
– Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.
– 7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.
*A note on male victims: 3% of American men (1 out of every 33) have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. In 2003, 1 of every 10 rape victims was male.
It’s been widely reported that most victims of sexual assault know their attackers, but those predators who seek unknown victims, below are some clues as to what they look for in potential victim.
The 3 main things they look for in a woman they are seeking to attack are:
1) Hairstyle. An attacker is most likely to seek a woman with long hair; a ponytail, bun, braid or other style that can be grabbed easily.
2) Clothing. They want clothing that is easy to remove; many times they will carry scissors to cut through the fabric.
3) Distracted. They prey on women who are distracted, whether it’s using their cell phones, rummaging through their purse, or doing some other activity while walking.
The 3 main places from which women are abducted:
1) Grocery store parking lots.
2) Office parking lots/garages.
3) Public restrooms.
It’s “funny” that TV shows oftentimes reveal as part of a storyline that you never want to be taken to a second location, so you need to put up as big of a fight as possible in order to stay in spot you were originally attacked. Seems this is true. Moving a woman to a second location means less likelihood of the attacker being caught. So, to avoid this…fight. Fight. FIGHT! They want an easy target and become discouraged by the struggle, seeing it as time-consuming.
I usually make sure my keys are already in my hand when I leave a store and am heading to my car because I figure it’s a quick line of defense if someone approaches or attacks me unexpectedly, plus I want to avoid lingering at my door fumbling for what I need. According to the post, keys as a possible weapon aren’t a deterrent because you’d have to be close to the attacker to use them. The point is to convince them you’re not worth the effort before they make their decision on whom to pounce. The men interviewed did say, however, that they wouldn’t pick a woman who was carrying an umbrella or similar object that can be used as a weapon from a distance.
Ways to make yourself an unappealing target:
1) If you’re in an elevator with someone (or any similar space), make eye contact and ask him a question or make small talk (ask them for the time, comment on the weather that day, etc.)
2) If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell, “Stop!” or “Stay back!” (I actually saw this on an episode of Designing Women back in the day [late 80s, early 90s]) and I’m glad to see it reiterated elsewhere repeatedly…who says television can’t be educational? :o)
3) Carry pepper spray. If you are being pursued, hold it out so that it’s visible to the attacker and yell, “I have pepper spray!”. And, might I add, don’t be afraid to use it (just make sure it’s pointed in the right direction!).
If you find yourself in a situation where you’re already being grabbed, start causing trouble!
1) If you’re grabbed around the waist from behind, give a hard pinch to the attacker under the arm between the elbow and the armpit OR in the upper in thigh. Do this like really, really, really HARD (it hurts…I tried it on myself and didn’t use full force).
2) After the pinch, go for the groin. Always. Growing up a friend of mine’s dad always said, “grab, twist, and pull”.
3) When an attacker puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure as possible.
4) Use your elbows. They are the strongest point on your body.
Other tips and tricks:
1) Here’s a common sense one: be aware of your surroundings. When I used to jog outdoors more I stopped listening to music because I wanted to be fully aware of what was happening around me.
2) If a robber asks for your wallet, toss it away from you; this gives you an opportunity to RUN in the opposite direction.
3) If you’re ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back taillights, stick your arm out of the hole, and start waving. Other drivers and passersby will see you, but the driver won’t.
4) When you’re approaching your car in a lot or garage, etc. look under your car, inside the passenger side, back seat, all over, in case someone made their way inside and is waiting. If the driver side of your car is next to a big van, enter from the passenger door. If you notice a male sitting alone in the car on either side of your own, go back to the store and ask to be accompanied to your car. These days most stores have security guards. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s the smart thing to do.
5) Once you’ve gotten into your car (in a parking garage, lot, etc.) from wherever you just were, don’t dawdle. Do not sit there and text your friend or read over a receipt or anything. Lock your doors and drive off immediately. I started doing this when I read the original post.
6) Always take the elevator instead of the stairs. Not the most figure-friendly option, as we’re always told to take the stairs to burn valuable extra calories throughout the day, but for safety purposes, I think you can find another way to burn those calories.
7) Even if the attacker has a gun, run! You’re a moving target. Moving targets only get hit 4 out of 100 times and even if you are hit, it most likely will not be fatal.
8) It’s okay to want to help others, but be smart about it. Do not follow someone to their car or help someone get into their car, etc.
What I struggled with when reading this was how to adapt some of the tips to protect myself and my toddler daughter when we’re alone. Perhaps the predator changes in that situation. Meaning, maybe I don’t need to necessarily worry about someone trying to rape or abduct me, but rather abduct my child. What I do in that instance is, for example, if she’s in a shopping cart, I do not leave her seated in it alone by one end of the car while I load bags, etc. into the trunk. I don’t put her in the car first, either, because I always return the cart to the vestibule and I don’t want her alone in the car for even a second. Also, if she’s in her car seat while I’m loading the bags into the car I feel as though someone could grab her or take my car somehow and take her with it (even though I have the keys on me). This doesn’t come from any research, just my own thinking. I think that’d be a whole other post. :o)
Feel free to view the original pin as I condensed some of the notes to get the main points across and, to be honest, though I understand the urgency with which the writer of the post was communicating the message, I’m not always crazy about instilling fear (although, I suppose for some that’s all that will work to wake people up).
This is worth a read and if you feel lead to do so, please pass it along.
Have a safe and blessed day!
Rosario
Sources:
http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
rosario cintrón 